We can’t let someone else’s fears or experiences dictate our own.
Like many milestones, the year 25 has a stereotype of entering a new phase in one’s life. It’s supposed to be the year where all your dreams are going to fall right into place and you suddenly figure it all out. Right?! Unfortunately, I’m sorry to disappoint you of the fantasy.
A Quarter-Life Crisis can feel like a period in your life where everything is falling apart and nothing is progressing the way you wanted. The concept of a promising future sound bleak, and the anxiety and depression someone can sink into because of it can be super dark and crippling. For those of us who have experienced it, or are currently going through it among this Covid-19 pandemic, I can’t help but feel like the stereotype to have your life together at certain milestones have done more harm then happiness.
Growing up, I’ve lived with a lot of anxiety. Most of the time, it was due to my fears of failing. I was petrified that my plans would fall apart in front of family, friends, or loved ones. I was always afraid of being judged for wanting to do different things. It almost goes without saying that when someone in your life suggests a plan unrelated from yours, they believe their “advice” could be better suited for you then your own. Whether their intentions are pure or not, that unsolicited advise can sometimes be anything but supportive for you or your self-growth.
BREAKING THE CONDITIONING
“Be a doctor, be a lawyer, do something stable” is what I heard a lot of my life growing up. Some others include: “Are you looking for a husband yet?”, “You should invest in a ______”, and my personal favorite: “When I was your age, I was already married and had two kids!”.
Luckily, my parents always believed in me and had plenty patience, but that’s not to say it was always rainbows with them either. Although we should listen to a variety of insight, we can’t let someone else’s fears or experiences dictate our own. Most people are a “believe it when I see it” mentality, but for those who enjoy thinking outside the box, it’s okay to be afraid and want to try something different. But the important thing? Whether it works out in your favor or it’s a crumbling disaster of a process, it truly does matter that you’re trying. When you judge someone as a bystander while they take those difficult steps to find their purpose, you can not only unintentionally hinder their happiness, but more importantly dismay their comfort to openly make mistakes and grow from them.
We tend to chronically overthink and create plans for ourselves and our future. We stay up late and picture a hundred different scenarios of what could go wrong instead of all the things that can go right. (I’m a victim of that as well!) We forget about all of our accomplishments and dwell over all of our “failures”. You’re never “too old” to take chances in life. Whether that’s in your new business ventures, making the decision to go back and finish your degree, or even dive into something as beautiful as love and relationships again! Make decisions with purpose so you feel you’re one step closer to your purpose.
And most importantly above all else?
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF MORE THEN ANYONE ELSE DOES.